Happy New Year!!

What a cliche title..

Though to my credit, I sit here writing 11 minutes until 2009.

On one hand, it is encouraging to me that Dick Clark is still trying even after his stroke. There isn't much that is more inspirational than fighting through a stroke. But on the other hand, it is downright depressing, as I remember what Dick Clark used to sound like.

Hence, I've put Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" on as a way of bringing in the new year on a positive note.

Because, if you start to think about this past year too much.. it was pretty darn bad. The economy took a nose dive off the deep end, thousands of American men and women are spending this new year in deserts around the world, the idiots in Washington have decided to bail out flailing poorly managed companies (BTW.. this is what Chapter 11 was designed for, not a Government bailout), and "our savior" is Barack Obama.

To me this sounds like recipe for disaster. And on a personal note, this past year wasn't fantastic on many different levels. But there are just three minutes left in this year, and it is time to start anew..

As I watch the Jonas Brothers, Lionel Richie and Ryan Seacrest count down my way to the new year, I can't help but think that I am so glad I'm not out in the cold with them tonight.. lol.. It looks freezing and Bill and Hillary Clinton have started the ball on its drop, how horrible..

Nonetheless, Dick Clark has an intoxicating smile... And his countdown.. how classic.

3..2..1..

Happy New Year!!!

And like a miracle from on high Auld Lang Syne comes pouring in. I just can't help but smile.

But I have accomplished my goal in staying up till 2009. So for tonight I think it is time to get some sleep, so that I can watch the parade of Roses and eat lots of Hoppin John tomorrow.

Best of luck to you all in 2009. May all your wishes come true.

Why text messages are a crime?

This year in America, 3.2 Trillion Text (SMS) Messages were sent. That is not that surprising I guess, this past month I sent about a hundred myself.

Maybe you didn't notice, but about 3 years ago, the cost of a single pay per use text message rose from 10 cents to 20 cents. At the same time the number of major U.S. wireless carriers shrank from 6 to 4.

To most of us, it probably doesn't even matter; we have text plans built into our wireless plans.

Irregardless, it is important to know that the sheer volume increase over the last five years has meant that the amount of money the companies are receiving has dramatically increased.

Now you'll probably say, "well, they should receive more money, they have to carry more messages."

Doesn't that mean they have to pay for more cell phone bandwidth (very expensive) and for all that data storage?

NO...

In a very interesting article in the NY Times, the author revealed that Text messages are so small in file size (the 160 word rule), that they can be sent over a special wave. The same wave that is used for your cell phone to find and connect to the tower signal. Therefore, the companies are paying for no extra width and the small file size is nothing when you consider that a terabyte of storage is now down to around 100 dollars.

We are being fleeced by the cell phone companies. In reality, it costs them about the same to send 1 million text messages as it would to send 1 billion. Yet all the while they are charging more and more for the service.

The question is, where is all that money going.

In a shocking move, Congress is actually taking action, and are doing an inquiry into the telephone companies which will require them to publish the revenue of those units.

Wow.. Congress.. Being effective.

Well, we will hold our breath for the moment and see what happens.

For tonight, I am at the beach. And would like to wake up at a decent hour tomorrow, unlike last night.. lol.

The Urge

It is 3:23 AM and I have just put The Bravery on. This means one of two things. I either have zero plans on sleeping tonight, or I am really tired and am trying to pump some rock through my waning body in order to stay awake a few more minutes.

The main catalyst tonight, seems to be the desire to upload photos onto Facebook. While on the exterior, this would seem to be fairly harmless. In reality, it is incredibly draining on my time. I have a lot of packing and prepping to do tomorrow morning before I leave for the beach; tagging and commenting on photos is probably not the proper way to prepare myself for that.. hmmm...

At the same time I feel a real 'urge' to post some photographs. Maybe it was the personal realization that I haven't posted a Facebook album in a very long time.

Which of course is very discouraging, me being the social butterfly that I am... or not..

[Tag break]..

I'm back, thank the Lord.. tagging is exhausting..

But I felt like I had some pretty good pictures.. So I would have felt bad not too..

Music Now: Broken Social Scene

Random thoughts:
- I adore the Russian, she is the cutest thing ever
- Who came up with the idea of art auctions? And why is it always pompous pricks who attend them? (Not meant to offend those who go to art auctions)
- How is McDonald's everywhere? I mean everywhere..
- The more I understand about the way globalization works, the more I wish I could be oblivious
- French people wear very tight small bathing suits
- Nude beaches = not fun, I almost lost my rum.. but on the other hand, the rum made it bearable
- How is it that so many things become old, yet old simple pleasures like the smell of vanilla or cinnamon are always refreshing and invigorating
- Just where is Carmon San Diego?
- How is it that the TTA and CAT use such old shitty buses, yet the Wolfline buses are new?
- Why does Facebook take so long to upload my photos?
- I know the answer to the last one, but it feels good to complain..
- A child's curiosity is so enviable
- Christmas should last all year.. well at least the spirit maybe
- Celtic or Rangers?
- Celtic of course..
- Why do all my beds seem to have 4 pillows when all I really want is 1 good one?

But for tonight I am exhausted, and as the music changes to The Swell Season, I need to finish commenting on these photos and head to bed..

Perhaps a more coherent post shall be in store tomorrow night..

Maybe..

How I've Missed You

Oh Blog, Oh Blog.. I have not forsaken thee. And I have missed you so over these last two weeks. Often I've felt the urge, but the unfortunate lack of cheap internet access in the middle of the ocean has prevented us from meeting.

Alas, we shall become good friends again, I swear. And I promise to release my prose upon your beautiful white story board as much as possible this week.

That being said, I've had a bug itching me the last two weeks. I believe it is the lovely itch of my first Viewpoint article the week we get back.

Time to draft. Obviously this will be lacking in quotes as I haven't interviewed anyone yet, but I just want to try out the source material and see how it rolls.

In How Soccer Explains the World, the famous American journalist Franklin Foer crafts a strikingly cognizant argument about how soccer explains globalization and many of the worlds developing issues.

O.K., maybe he was stretching a bit at times. But in honesty, there was a lot of truth in what Foer had to say -- notably on the subject of athletic rivalry. One of the most polarized of these rivalries he presents is the one between the two major athletic clubs in Glasgow, Scotland -- and the two most dominant clubs in Scottish soccer -- Celtic and Rangers.

The history of these clubs dates back centuries, and like many good rivalries it all began with religion -- Celtic is the Catholic side and Rangers are Protestant.

But the unwavering and remarkable passion of their supporters is so much more than most Americans could imagine. Even to the point of killing supporters of the other club in the name of their own.

Many would say, "this is madness". I would say, this is passion, this is sport. At least the way it should be.

For all that people make of the rivalry between State and Carolina, it still is fairly tame. I can name very few people who do not have at least a handful of friends at both Duke and Chapel Hill.

And that is the problem. This basketball season, do not shake a Tarheel's hand. Grab it and throw him to the ground. Sound like you mean when you tell Hansborough and Carolina to go to hell. Be a fan and physically intimidate anyone who would dare insult the name of North Carolina State Univerity.

Do not view it as unwarranted harrassment. After all, they were the ones who chose to support a bastard of a University. Give them hell for it. And in the name of Jimmy Valvano and all that is good, make those unworthy State students who wear Carolina attire feel like they themselves have sold their souls to the devil.

Show some passion for your school, go harass a Carolina fan.

-----

O.K., maybe a little overdramatic I think. It may have to be a work in progress as it definitely is not solid enough yet to pass for Technician gold.

Now though I think I will go finish my set list on guitar hero (Wii for Christmas).. yea..

No worries though my dear blog, I shall return soon.

European History

As I sit here, having just studied European History since the interwar years, a few things strike me as incredibly odd.
-The United States is the second most mentioned nation in this section
-The USSR was the most dominant European superpower of the post war era, yet they imploded due to their own internal mismanaging
-The devastation of WWII actually stimulated the European economy vis-à-vis the Marshall plan and the resulting improvements in infrastructure (notably transportation and manufacturing)
-Hitler gets the bad rap, yet Stalin outright killed 10 million via starvation and put another 20 million into gulags during the 1930s (the irony of course, he was our "ally")
-Charles de Gaulle is the only Frenchman who has gotten anything done politically in the last hundred years (I don't count Clemenceau)
-Europe always seems to go through cycles of conglomeration and separation, its like clock work
-There is a myth that American children are fed, it says we saved "millions of lives" by dropping "the bombs," the truth is that we were sending a message to the Russians
-The Cold War wasn't about Truman and Stalin, it was about Wilson and Lenin
-A "Radical" French party is a more moderate one
-Socialism isn't a naughty word in Europe..

-I have a plant on my desk that is refusing to die
-I've had a pumpkin since mid-october, it shows no signs of aging
-"The Squid and the Whale" may be my new favorite movie, honestly, stunning
-My IKEA candle seems to regenerate without me noticing
-GRAVITY, seriously.. why, how does it work so well (why doesn't it just have an off day every once in awhile... like... hmm... today, I think gravity will be 9.6 m/s^2)
-There is a guy on my bus who acts really standoffish toward everyone except me, he always waves at me.. and I always seem to catch him staring at my shirts
-The mail gets delivered everyday (I don't even want to imagine how complex that infrastructure is)
-French Intellectual History (my Euro teacher's field of study), I read part of Vincent's book and was like.. WTF is going on here, this makes no sense
-How they will give you a dry erase marker for free at the library, but there never seems to be any next to the boards, where do they all go?
-My wallet never seems to have money in it (I know, this is a personal issue, but it still amazes me)
-That the Tribune went bankrupt because "it was about time"... what is that supposed to mean? (I mean come on, I can understand why, but how bitchy)
-Its been a bad week for Illinois (karma for an Obama victory I think).. your Governor is an underhanded criminal and your newspaper went bankrupt.. ouch..
-IKEA is so far away from here.. But on the bright side, I could almost take a day trip with the cost of gas right now

Day 3 and Counting

Tomorrow will be the third consecutive day I will have a Viewpoint column in Technician. Everyone on the editorial staff is amazed (they have said so), how do I have so much to write about it.

Quite frankly, it is because I am always reading. I could write more than one column a day. Between my NY Times on Weekends, bbc.com and the post and times websites, I am always reading news and current events. Not surprisingly, a lot of these issues are campus issues, as they effect everyone. In addition, my article on Wed and my one tomorrow are nothing more than response articles. In the prior case, to a George Will column and tomorrow in response to a fellow Viewpoint staff writers column which I disagreed with.

This productivity has after just one week caused my editor to say he wants to make me a Senior Staff Writer. Although I don't know whether to take this as a remarkable endorcemnt or just a reward for producing dubious amounts of content. In any case, being a senior staff writer next semester should have its perks, notably that I get to choose the day / days (if I feel really motivated) that I want for my column. Also, it just sounds cool.. : )

Hope you enjoy Friday's article.. LINKED HERE.

P.S. I also just want to mention that I find it highly entertaining that I have been promoted before I have even received the chance to take my "mug shot" for my columns (See another viewpoint columnists article if you need clarification on what I mean).

George Will.. Conservative God?

I think not. lol..
But it is related to my first Viewpoint column in Technician (this corresponds to me receiving the title staff columnist).

I generally copy and paste the whole article. But today I'll just copy the URL, knowing that if you care to read my article, you'll click the LINK.

Enjoy.. : )

Who is paying for my education?

In the wake of Lehman Brothers, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and the Government bailout package, everyone seems to be an expert on the economy nowadays. Most of my friends can converse extensively on financial derivatives and predatory lending; perhaps this is just another sign of the times. But for all the national headlines, what do we know about how our own education is funded?

Most of us think we already know the answer.

Some of us take out loans, others have scholarships, many of us receive help from our families. We pay our tuition, and the university operates. We own this place. Right?

No, you actually pay for almost none of “your education”.

Last week I conducted a small survey on campus to see how much of the university budget our faculty and students believe is covered by student tuition and fees.

In my survey, 21 out of 25 randomly selected faculty members and students asked believe that student tuition and fees covers over 30 percent of the university budget. 12 of those respondents thought that tuition and fees covered over 50 percent of the budget. Only one student came within 10 percent of the actual value.

The shocking truth is that only 15 percent of the University budget is covered by student tuition and fees. No, your eyes are not deceiving you, 85 percent of your education is funded by someone else.

The state of North Carolina funds approximately 45 percent of our education, an extremely high amount for a state college. For comparison, the University of Virginia receives less than 10 percent of its funding from the state.

The other large wedge in the pie is covered by endowments. Such as research grants from the National Science Foundation, Department of Agriculture and other bodies who we conduct research on the behalf of.

Tom Levy, senior in history, was just as surprised as I was by the figure. “You’re kidding,” he quipped.

Not surprisingly, this sentiment was shared by almost all of the respondents. I cannot count the number of students who said, “Really!” in response to the figure of 15 percent.

Many of us here really do have to sacrifice to come up with tuition money each semester. It is nothing more than human nature to want to think that our share funds most of our education.

To me at least, this seems like pretty important information. It has totally changed my perception of the University. No longer do I feel as though I own this place, I now realize I am nothing more than a squatter on Government land.

Who is to blame for us not knowing? Naturally, I choose to ridicule the source of all evil, the administration. Instead of fruitless race sensitivity training, how about we give the entire incoming freshman class a Budget 101 seminar? Or would N.C. State prefer to have 96 percent of us walk around oblivious to who funds our education?

What music?

If you look up you'll notice the name of this blog..

Memories of the Music..

I'm sure this name made a lot of sense at the time, hence most of my life decisions. But as in many other cases, now I stare at it as a sort of challenge to my manhood. (Nervously) How am I going to write about music? I'm the sort of kid who didn't even start listening to music until my freshman year of High School. I'm being serious.. In eighth grade each student was asked to gave their favorite musical act. Many of course, being the impressionable teenagers we were, selected Britney, Cristina Aguilera, Shakira, boy bands.. the typical stuff. In a typical indicator for the social anomaly I would grow to become, I selected Bach. Don't get me wrong, I do like Bach, but it was a choice of desperation because I had nothing else.

I lucked out, my teacher knew nothing about classical music, she simply responded with "isn't that nice." Then came the dreaded follow up, what is your favoirte piece? I panicked, yet was able to hold my composure as I casually replied, "his 4th of course." She gave me a look as if to say, gosh you really are a weird kid, and passed on.

In later life I would realize that Bach did not have a fourth symphony. Mozart and Beethoven did, but neither was of great note. Tchaikovsky has a quite famous fourth symphony, but even that received poor critical acclaim. Check.. epic fail..

Somewhere along the way I did develop a taste for more modern music and that pallate continues to evolve.

It started with CSI Las Vegas. The show more than anything else led to the beginning of what has now become an obsession. The epic overtures of Townsend, Moon and Daultrey in Who Are You led to me buying my first compact disc, the Best of The Who. The way Townsend manipulated the guitar simply amazed me. Once the rock started rolling it was straight into the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Guess Who and so many other from that classic generation.

During my Senior Year of High School something else happened. A different stage in development began. I finally realized the beauty that is the opposite gender. What a wild ride that has been.. But along the way I was opened to new and different forms of music: alternative, dance, pop.. Some things I liked, others I didn't. But along the way, I grew to like many different forms of music.

The final revolution occured this last summer when I went to Bonnaroo. I did not go as crazy as most people there, but what I did do was engorge myself in music for four days. I came out filled with sound: Sigur Ros, Vampire Weekend, MGMT, Rogue Wave, Ladytron, The Swell Season, Adele, Steel Train.. When I got back, not only had I been indoctrinated in Alternative / Folk / Pop Rock. But I suddenly saw so much more.

I'd like to give a call out to a couple of groups which have really impressed me recently..
Noah and the Whale
Francois Virot
The Wombats
Glasvegas
Broken Social Scene

Also if you have a chance I would encourage you to go and visit "blogotheque.net", their "Take Away Shows" (English) have for the most part been fascinating in the fullest sense of the word. I can say enough about Vincent Moon and the other camera guys ability to capture pure moments of genuine music making. They truly give music a new voice.

Now I'm off to build a train track around the base of the Christmas Tree with my 5 year old brother. These are the sort of things you just don't want to miss.

The Family Man

.. is a 2000 movie starring Nick Cage and Tea Leoni. It is perhaps my favorite Nick Cage film and has a great lesson for us all during this stressful time (if you're going to begin exam prep as I am) or are just going to inevitably be caught up in the blatant commercialization of Christmas.

And while I do concede that this is very cliche, the message is one of my favorites (also one I miss a lot of the time).

Happiness, in its many forms (I know.. I've hashed on this a lot recently), does not come from wealth or from material possessions. True bliss comes in not forgetting the ones you love.

Furthermore, don't make choices with your brain, make them with your heart.

In the movie, Cage gets on a plane to London and as a result gets everything he thought he wanted. The big apartment, the Lambo, a ridiculous paycheck. He thinks all these things are making him happy. But in the tradition of George Bailey, he failed to realize what was truly important.

I too can't say I do so much better. How often do I let my future plans get tied down by financial considerations? I have to really look at myself in the mirror some mornings and ask myself am I doing engineering for myself or am I doing this because I know it pays. True.. you may say this isn't on a George Bailey level, and at my level nothing is set in stone yet.

But as we age in life, as 15 turns to 17 then 19, somehow 20. These cruel decisions of the 'real world' are coming, and with a vengeance. Already many people, even younger than I have chosen a life in service to our country, have dealt with unbearable loss or feel the crunch of the recession.

How do I know I haven't already made some bad choices? How am I supposed to know if I should have taken words back?

...

I don't..

And that reality is the reality we all must face. Its not the dreams we have for ourselves it is the decisions we make. Those are the things that define our existence.

I just hope that in my case it doesn't take a Clarence or Don Cheadle to make me realize I've made an imprudent choice.

Now.. sleep.. Those choices, they can wait till the morning..

The Pursuit of Happiness

Sometimes it takes the starkness of your overloaded life to make you realize what is important (I will warn you in advance, this entry is poised to be sappy).

When I woke up this morning I had a frown on my face, and could quite honestly not remember the last time I was truly content / happy. I say this because true happiness as I'm sure most of us can recognize is very unique and unlike the momentary blips of happiness which hopefully frequent our days.

Point being.. I hopped on my 12:35 flight to Washington Reagan and something happened. I was catapulted into the surreal world high above the Earth where things tend to come into perspective. My difficult decisions about my future don't need to stress me out today, my current lack of a love life isn't really that big of a deal, things could be worse (I have food on my table and a warm place to sleep). But most of all.. I have my family.

I arrived into the mayhem of an airport the day before Thanksgiving and scrambled my way up to the safe haven of the Metro platform. Minutes later Dad arrived, talking on his blackberry of course, but it was my Dad and I was so happy to see him. He put the blackberry down and we caught the next blue line to Franconia / Springfield, talking about recent happenings, and of course the Redskins, N.C. State Football and the Wizards. It was like being in heaven.

A microwaved lunch of leftovers later we were talking about my new job as a writer for Technician (No, 'Technician' does not have a preceding article).

Soon, my Grandparents came in from there lunch out and the parade began.. politics, life, the market, my relationships, Charlie Crist, the Nebraska National Guard.. Bliss...

Then Mom and Ryan came home.. COCKTAIL HOUR..

More like cocktail 'three' hour today, but whose counting.

I was just happy to be with most of the people I loved. For me, in these seemingly insignificant events, I was once again reacquainted with an old friend.. happiness..

I found a great truth in all of it.. And while cliche it holds true.. Nothing in this world can buy happiness, it is found in being with the ones you love.

For tonight I am tired though, and seeing as that I have an all American day of cooking, parade watching and football tomorrow, I should probably hit the hay.

If you're reading this little piece of cyberspace I call a blog today, I hope you have a marvelous Thanksgiving and that it feels you with as much goodwill as it is currently filling me with.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a goodnight..

P.S. M, you are not forgotten today, I wish you were here.

Pointless aspiration through desperation

There are times.. in which you lose track of the surroundings and become completely lost in your own self awareness. Today I have been in a dizzying fog of self doubt. I've felt a total lack of understanding. The sad part is that I cannot pin this rut on anything. I would think, if I didn't know any better (because unfortunately I do), that this is what general anxiety based depression feels like.

Now to my point... Hold on just a minute. I don't think I had one (It must be the fog).

This leads me to believe that I need to go home.. thrust myself in an environment where there are zero expectations and an unrestrained amount of love. Not that sort of sissy.. i <3 you.. The good kind, the sort you spend an entire lifetime trying to find.

One would hope that everyone would find that true love.. true contentment.. true joy..

To the contrary, I know better.. I know that it will find me.. At a time and a place, that some strange fate has chosen for me. Maybe I've already been there, maybe it won't be for twenty years. I would argue that is the beauty to the approach.

Yet at the same time, that same approach carries a burden with it. The burden that you must always be aware, and always looking. We may have love right in front of us and not even know it. And just because fate destined a moment for us, does not mean we will be aware enough to realize it in time, to seize it.

I'm not really sure if this post is heading anywhere tonight. Honestly, I hope its not. In all sincerity I really hope I am just spouting off after a quite bizarrely bad week. In which, what could go wrong did go wrong.

Yet in further proof that maybe there is something to be gained in persisting on.. the weekend has arrived and to my pleasant surprise, I have all my ligaments and seem to still be functioning on most levels. Of course with the added bonus that one of my favorite holidays is less than a week away.

Attribution versus Actuality

Tomorrow in the Technician. A story runs under my name. Russell Witham (Correspondent)..
From there on, the article is about 40 percent mine. I say this because, while the intellectual property is all mine, my editor chopped the story down and rearranged it into a totally unrecognizable mesh. I guess this is his job. But I also now understand why writers fight with their editors. I thought my story was nearly perfect, not a thing wrong with it. Apparently I didn't engage my audience quickly enough (am I engaging now.. huh.. huh..), nor did I have enough full quotes.... Stop using facts, use quotes... and lastly, I didn't talk enough about campus. Fair enough on the last point. But I know my audience, I know they are uneducated on this issue. That is why I volunteered to write the article in the first place. Instead what has been attributed to me is a combination of quotes, a blip about the actual issue and a segment about the rally.

I have to admit. This really pissed me off. If I wanted to just interview people and give their thoughts I would have. I sought to inform and tie it home. I guess I just didn't do it the 'Technician Way'.

Do I hope my article will inform some people on the issue? Yes. Was this the article I wanted? No. Will I try to make sure none of my intellectual property gets cut out next time? Yes.

Its not that I don't like Chris (the News editor). I think he is a cool guy. The problem is that I would rather not have my well thought out flow be chopped into news. I guess this is why I signed up to do editorials and not news stories. I like my writing to be... mine.

Today's Revision

This is probably a lot beefier than it will look on Thursday but this is what I am handing to my editor to chop up as he sees fit.

On October 1, 1948, in a 4 to 3 decision the California Supreme Court overturned California’s antimiscegenation laws in the case of Perez v. Sharp; determining in the case that “[marriage] is a fundamental right of free men.”

Sixty years, one month and three days later, the people of California decided that same-sex couples were not entitled to those “fundamental” rights.

The results of last Tuesday’s election were quite historic, witnessing the election of America’s first African American president. Yet, the social progress was by no means universal.

California Proposition 8, Arizona Proposition 102 and Florida Amendment 2 eliminated the possibility of same-sex marriages in those respective states. Each state’s ballot measure allowed the voters to formally state the definition of marriage

The California Proposition was listed on the ballots as “[an elimination of the] Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.” Similar wording was used on the Arizona and Florida measures.

The three states joined twenty five other states which have formally banned same-sex marriage in their state Constitutions. This is in addition to twenty other states which have statutory laws in place in accordance with 1996’s Defense of Marriage Act. A federal law which formally provides that no state must allow a relationship between persons of the same-sex as marriage, even if that relationship is considered a marriage in another state. The act further states that the Federal Government will not treat any same-sex marriage as legitimate under any circumstance.

Justine Hollingshead, the Director of N.C. State’s GLBT Center, called the results “a major setback [toward same-sex equality].” Echoing the dismay and disappointment of many throughout the GLBT community who were surprised by the substantial nature in which the measures were passed; especially in California, generally thought to be a socially progressive area.

Jeremy Hall, a Junior in Technology Education, said he was “surprised to see California regress.” Addressing the concerns of many who can not understand why many Americans are still so sensitive on this particular Civil Liberties issue.

“I’m not sure what people are threatened by,” Hollingshead said. Pointing out the inequity in denying hundreds of thousands of stable, loving couples the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts. Also noting that the Federal Government alone specifies over one thousand rights and privileges bestowed only on heterosexual couples.

In response to the national outcry, a rally in support of same-sex rights will be jointly held in all 50 states this Saturday Nov. 15, between 1:30 and 3 p.m. EST. The closest local rally, being coordinated by Will Elliot, will be meeting in Downtown Raleigh and has several notable guest speakers, including: Jim Neal, US Senate candidate in 2008, Jimmy Creech, who performed the first civil union in the state of NC, and Sophia Bush, a GLBT advocate and star of the CW’s One Tree Hill.

Elliot claims the goal is a “peaceful rally,” in order to “show solidarity with California and the rest of the Nation.” A location for the rally has not yet been finalized, but more information can be found on jointheimpact.com and can be obtained from Raleigh’s organizers by emailing NCAgainstH8@gmail.com.

Many N.C. State students are expected to attend. When asked about why participating was important, Amber Meachem, a Junior in History and GLBT ally said “its become a Civil Rights issue.” Adding that same-sex marriage discrimination is “a strike against everyone’s Civil Liberties.”

After Tuesday, the only two states that still allow same-sex marriage are Connecticut and Massachusetts. But as Hollingshead says, even those small victories still mean nothing until DOMA is overturned.

The debate still rages on all across the country, and even on what would seemingly be a dark day for GLBT advocates, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has words of hope “I learned that you should never ever give up. . . . They should never give up. They should be on it and on it until they get it done.”

The Real Losers of November 4th

(The following is the rough copy of my article on same-sex marriage propositions which will run in the Technician later this week.. Enjoy..)

Last Tuesday saw the election of America’s first African American President. But along with a great step forward on race relations, social progress was not universally embraced.

California Proposition 8, Arizona Proposition 102 and Florida Amendment 2 eliminated the possibility of same-sex marriages in those respective states. Each state’s ballot measure allowed the voters to formally define the definition of marriage.

The California Proposition was listed on the ballots as “[an elimination of the] Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.” Similar wording was used on the Arizona and Florida measures.

As of today, including the results from Nov. 4, twenty-eight states have banned gay marriage with amendments to their state’s Constitution.

Another twenty states have statutory laws in place which follow the federal Defense of Marriage Act of 1996. A law passed by over 80 percent of both houses of Congress and signed into law by President Clinton.

“DOMA” has two provisions involving same-sex marriage. The first provision provides that no state must allow a relationship between persons of the same-sex as a marriage, even if the relationship is considered a marriage in another state.

The second provision further states that the Federal Government will not treat any same-sex marriage as legitimate under any circumstance.

Across the nation billions of dollars were spent on the election. What may come as a surprise to many is that after the presidential election, the campaign with the second highest spending was not an election at all.

Proponents of California Proposition 8 garnered over 37.5 million dollars in the campaign for the measure; the opposition was able to spend almost 36 million dollars.

Despite a substantial public outcry from the LGBT communities in several states, most notably in California where protests and rallies have been held over the past week, all three measures passed with quite substantial majorities.

In Florida, where an amendment to the state Constitution requires 60 percent voter approval, the resolution was passed by 62.1 percent according to the Florida Department of Elections.

The residents of Arizona passed Proposition 102 by more than 56 percent and the residents of California raised Proposition 8 to California Constitutional status by over 400,000 votes.

Arkansas which already had a law banning gay marriage took other steps against same-sex couples. In a proposition approved by voters, only married couples may adopt or become foster parents.

Now, the only two states that still allow same-sex marriage are Connecticut and Massachusetts. Yet, under DOMA those marriages are only valid within those respective states.

As to the more than 18,000 California couples who were legally married prior to Nov. 4? According to California Attorney General Jerry Brown “marriages that have been entered into subsequent to the May 15 Supreme Court opinion will be recognized.”

In 1948 California Supreme Court found that miscegenation laws were illegal, claiming that “[marriage] is a fundamental right of free men.” Sixty years later 52 percent of California voters decided that it is not a fundamental right for all men.

Yet still, even California’s Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has words of hope “I learned that you should never ever give up. . . . They should never give up. They should be on it and on it until they get it done.”

Music of the Moment

Its not that I have not written due to a lack of a time. In an unusual change, I actually had the whole weekend off (this was a welcome change). And despite a lack of school work, I am starting up at the Technician this week. It seems I'll have an article on California Proposition 8 (the one that banned gay marriage in Cali) coming out on Thursday and an article on the reduction of campus travel budgets due to the economy coming out on Friday (both dates tentative). But anyhow, I figure I will share my 'music of the moment' with you kind internet dwellers who frequent this piece of cyber space I refer to as my blog.

Enjoy... : )

Noah and the Whale - Peaceful, the World Lays Me Down
Francois Virot - Yes or No
Glasvegas - Glasvegas
Musee Mechanique - Hold This Ghost
Rogue Wave - Asleep at Heaven's Gate
Adele - 19
Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
Sufjan Stevens - Michigan + Come On Feel The Illinoise
Music from 'ONCE' + 'Amelie'
The Postal Service - Give Up
Air - Moon Safari + Pocket Symphony + Talkie Walkie
FC Kahuna - Machine Says Yes

History

"....that people would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

Martin Luther King Jr. spoke powerful words during the civil rights movement. Words that we can all learn from and live by.

Today his dream came to fruition; and as much as I oppose Mr. Obama's policies, I can respect the watershed moment in history that today is. As a people, we have spoken and quite literally said that this election will not be judged by the color of a man's skin but by his merits. This was not an election of race but rather an election of issues. When all is said and done, the total number of votes cast will be much closer than the electoral college would suggest; clearly speaking to the great divide on issues and the path forward that the nation believes we should take. That being said, I do have HOPE. Hope that Mr. Obama can unite this nation under the banner of freedom and give us a responsible path forward.

I will have pride in my president, apart from race or creed, because he is the president of my nation. And though I will disagree with him often, I will support him.

If you are a fiscal conservative like I am, today is not the greatest day. But get over yourself and act like an American. I'm not saying you should celebrate (I know I'm not), but we can at least applaud Mr. Obama's achievment. And also take solace in the fact that the Republicans actually held their own in the Senate races, 44 to 56 isn't that bad..

Mr. President

Story:
The Bradley Effect? Nope.
Will black voters and young people really get out and vote? Yes.
Can Obama carry any southern states? Yes: FL, NC, VA (The Capital of the South).

Am I happy to see that racism in this country is no longer a prominent issue? Yes.
But at the same time am I happy with the result of this election? Certainly not.

I think Barack Obama is a very charismatic figure and his ability to invigorate the voter base is truly remarkable, yet I am also quite certain that he is the wrong choice for president of the United States. In these uncertain times, I don't think I would be comfortable with any candidate who only had four years of national experience (let it be known I didn't like the choice of gov. Palin). A uniting figure he may be, but is this man truly the one to fix our economic crisis, the horrors of medicare and the social security system, and the oversight of our wars abroad. Let me be the first to say that I hope he can. Prove me wrong Barack, be the hope America needs. But also know that I am putting you under the microscope with the massive control over Congress you've been given. When you falter, I will be there to point out your errors. Not because I dislike you personally, but because I dislike the sort of change you stand for.

Prove me wrong. And I truly pray that God Bless America.

A More Realistic View

Get out and vote!

Really though?

Yes, it is an unalienable right to go place your vote in the ballot box. But do we really want everyone to vote? 100 percent voter turnout would be a disaster.

I read on the issues, I follow the news media quite extensively, more so than 19 out of 20 people I know I'd say. But I do not consider myself totally aware of the issues. Of course we all have opinions on Barack Obama and John McCain, but what about Jennifer Weiss who was running for the NC Congress in my precinct (35, that is). Walking up to the polling location I knew nothing about either candidate. So you may ask, how did I make up my mind? By a pretty simple standard in my opinion. Jennifer Weiss was standing out in the rain outside the polling location asking for my vote. In a cold bitter Scottish style rain, she was standing there trying to earn my vote. I acquiesed to her request despite the fact she was a democrat, because I figure that she was willing to stand out in the rain for my vote, that told me more about her character than any political advertisment or flyer ever could.

Coming back to my point (yes, I was going to come back). If I had no idea who Jennifer Weiss was, then what are you basing your vote on? If you don't even know the issues, how can you vote? How can you vote for Barack Obama when you don't understand the effects of increased government spending? How can you vote for John McCain if you don't understand our militaristic role in the world? Its not that I would ever discourage someone from voting, I am simply dumfounded that these two campagins would spend over a billion dollars in advertising and not a penny on voter education. OK, I know some of you will argue that the advertisments are education. But I would highly disagree with that characterization and say that voter education is only legitimate when it is non partisan (look at the facts, where is that education.. everyone has an agenda). And furthermore, when the education explains the issues instead of some blanket false promise saying that I and I alone can fix this problem that you don't understand. I know this is politics, but it disturbs me; and I wonder of those voting today, who truly understands the consequences of their vote.

The Audacity of Domestic Violence

Today I saw something that angered and saddened me more than anything I've witnessed in a long time. The biggest personally for me was that although I was standing there, I was silent. Unable to utter a single word.

Standing at the Wolfline bus stop waiting for the Route 9 Greek Village bus, a shouting couple approached (I'll refrain from giving specifics about them, it is irrelevant). I could not determine the source of the dispute, but in any case the man was vehemently lambasting his partner. Calling her a bit**, c**t, *hor* and several other words which I'll refrain from mentioning. Eventually, he began pushing her, took her wallet out of her hand in threw it in the street (Hillsborough during the middle of the day mind you). I think you can imagine this woman's embarassment in having to walk out into the street when the light was red to retrieve her wallet. Understandably angry, she proceeded to throw the wallet back at the man amongst various curses. Then in a fit of absolute rage, the man slapped what I presume to be his wife (possibly girlfriend). She recoiled and stepped away ending the argument.

All this beign said, I'm disturbed that I felt uncomfortable to the point where I didn't step in and attempt to diffuse the situation. Did I feel slightly intimidated by the man's demeanor? Yes. But this was a fellow human being he was abusing (from what I saw, a person who probably experienced a lot of abuse). I feel like I should have at least said something. Instead, I was weak, I turned up my iPod and looked away until my bus arrived. Did this dispute have anything to do with me? No. But was it my duty to intervene? I think it was, and that is why I am thinking about this issue right now.

Maybe it is that I didn't react proactively because of some things I've experienced in my own life (that is as deep as I'll get with that one publicly). But more than anything I think I didn't respond because I convinced myself that these sort of things happen everyday. Its just one more 'minor' case of abuse. This is where the problem lies for me, and I think with a lot of people. One more person who experiences abuse is one to many. It is time we really start to educate people, we as a society have to take a moment to say.. no, that is enough. No longer will we turn a blind eye to abuse of any kind.

Yes, there are lots of people out there who do a lot fo good work against abuse. And yes the law does come down hard on abusers. But those alone are not enough, this is not an issue that requires a goverment mandate. This is something where we all just need to stand together and say no. Next time, I pray I will have the fortitude to stand and say.. no.

Its good to be a kid

Back in the days of Power Rangers (the real Power Rangers), when your gameboy color was the shit and 'homework' took about 15 minutes.... things were great. No responsibilities, obligations, difficult decisions. Life was simple. You didn't have to worry about relationships, your GPA, paying rent, bills.. Things just seemed to magically fall together (of course we all have examples of where this is false.. but generalize with me here).

Reality check. I am 20 years old and am as someone so poignantly pointed out this afternoon, am 3 semesters away from my next huge life decision. Grad school? Work? Its all so confusing.. and the worst part is that its one I have to make all on my own. These sorts of moments are when I realized that L I F E had arrived. The things I do have repercussions, I don't get do overs for the things I say, the acts of today form the events of tomorrow.

....

.... Still thinking about where I was going with this one...
I'm starting to think I may have just been complaining in general, which is odd considering this is basically the first weekend I've had off in God knows how long. But nonetheless, the idea of LSAT's and GMAT's and GRE's and EXAMS... is daunting.

Actually daunting may be the wrong word, because daunting kind of implies that while difficult there may be hope if the goal can be reached (yes, I was tempted to whip out the Random House on this one). Yet, in life is there ever truly reprieve? Do we ever truly persevere to some 'better state'? Some place where once again, the decisions become easy.. even logical maybe. I may not know the answer to those questions, but seeing as that I'm writing here tonight, I think I've determined my own thoughts on the matter.

Those being.. that I am going to give it my freaking all every day. Try and make the 'better choice', not because I know it to be better but because a choice has to be made. Some are easy (every day I choose to get out of bed), others are harder (love and its shortcomings for instance). But because I know of no better way, I'll try. I don't know if I'll succeed. But I'll give it my all until one day.. hopefully.. it will all be child's play again (Yes!! Game Boy Color!!).

The Art of the All Nighter

I don't know about your college experience (that was pretty obvious, unless you think I am some sort of transcendental stalker). But as for mine, and once again maybe it is purely the nature of engineering, is filled with many long nights of studying. A lot of these (exam weeks and mid term papers come to mind), are true all nighters. You know.. the sort where you have just consumed your eighth cup of [caffeinated beverage goes here], are sitting at 9 pages with a 12 page minimum and have just realized that the noises outside are.. holy shit.. birds.. wtf. It can't be.. (Stares at clock).. 6:30!!! [Colloquialisms not fit for a family friendly blog]!!!

But more often than not, Engineering is really about the semi all nighter and the semi all nighter series. Those stretches of days at a time where you nap for 4 hours a night (so as not to have pulled an all nighter). To some people the idea of sleeping only 16 hours in a seven day period is crazy and undoable. If you ask the average Engineer around exam weeks or mid terms, they'll tell you you're doing pretty good and have their own sob story about how they haven't left the library except to smoke a cig in about three days. No kidding, I actually know of some people (acquaintences) who sleep in the library four nights a week. Not because they do not have accomadation but because it wouldn't make sense to trapse back home. I mean.. the gym does have showers (anyone who has ever seen Carmichael's male locker room should be snickering about now).

Recently I've kind of made up my mind that I'd like to go to graduate school, probably for Law or Business (yes, UVA, I may give you one more shot to let me in). I am some what excited about the prospect, except when I am confronted with the stark reality that I may have as much as four more years of education... Five more years of this.. I'm not sure I'll survive.

But in any case. Tonight, even before I decided to stay up the extra couple minutes and write this (I had been studying at the library for about 4 to 5 hours previously), I was in somewhat of an all nighter mode. In other words.. the guy bouncing up and down to the beat of his iPod at 1:30 in the morning who seems to be writing up (on the white boards) strange equations with no numbers and figures that look like they may have been drawn by cave men.. the one who is probably looking very perplexed and may have a wolf pack mocha on the table next to him.. yea.. thats me.

The usual routine for all nighters goes like this though:
Step 1: Brew a pot of tea
Step 2: Consume pot of tea while doing research (in the case of a paper)
Step 3: Put in iPod buds, probably to something along the lines of Yann Tiersen or Sufjan
Step 4: Type.. Type.. Type
Step 5: Type more
Step 6: Notice the birds are beginning to chirp.. accelerate typing (more like keyboard bashing at this point)
Step 7: Print out draft.. thank God
Step 8: Shower and prepare breakfast (walk to dining hall for breakfast if that indeed was an option)
Step 9: Edit the paper while comsuming food and another pot of tea
Step 10: Finalize edits and print out final copy...
Step 11: CRASH onto bed.... zzzz...

Step 11 sounds pretty good about now. I think I may....

Airports

I openly admit to being a strange individual on some things. If you know me well, then you're probably aware that I have a not so secret love affair with aviation. There is just something about the nature of flight and the aura around it. Yes, the 21st century economy has taken a hard hit on the world's airlines.. but.. flight is still sexy.

Today, October 26th, Raleigh Durham International Airport opened a brand new terminal, Terminal 2. Coincidentally (and no I seriously didn't plan it this way, its just how it worked out), I left on one of the first flights out of the new terminal this morning at 7 AM.

The space? grand.. emaculate.. polished.. The only comparison I can make is Terminal 2 at Charles de Gaulle if you've ever been there (Also, maybe... the AA Terminal at Kennedy and Heathrow T5 (although I haven't been to the latter yet.. but from what I've heard)). They had filed everything to perfection, and I (who am actually quite hard to impress), was in awe. Also, the idea of being the first person to sit down in a chair (in a public space) has this strange sort of resonance to it. I can't really describe the feeling, but looking down at the brand new leather chair I was sitting in; all I could think about is the vast number of people that will occupy the chair after me, how many thousands of people will sit in the same place where I sat first. I guess it was just one of those strange surreal moments in life that you should simply accept and not dwell upon too much.

I'm not sure if I really have a point with this post but to point out one of my strange quirks. But I thought I would share a couple pictures I took far too early this morning while walking down the concourse.

I ended up sitting in about 12 different chairs just for the hell of it. lol.

Socialism

In America, ever since the days of McCarthy, the cold war and the days when the term Pinko was an insult (most would probably argue, long before this). Americans have had a strange aversion to the term socialism. If you automatically associate this term with Lenin, Stalin and Mao, then yes you probably would have an aversion to the term. In reality though: today's socialism, the socialism of Marx and the perversions of Mao and Lenin are three entirely different beasts.

I don't want to go to a boring history lesson into how the socialists parties of the world split into two separate factions in 1919, nor do I want to discuss the merits of what Marx had to say, you either agree that there is an inevitable class conflict or you don't. What I find curious though is that Americans mistakenly associate all forms of socialism to radicalism. In reality, modern socialism isn't radical at all. Just look at the world we live in; England's Labour party, France's Parti Socialiste (lol. that says it outright though), Germany's SPD (Sozialdemokratische Partei Deutschlands), what are they? Nothing more than socialists (social democrats). They don't seem to be afraid of the term socialism. In fact, they all are members of Socialist International. They openly embrace their socialism, as in every other part of the world except ours, the term socialist simply applies to a party who seeks to lower the margin between the rich and the poor. That is modern socialism (I love broad generalizations).

Despite the fact that some of our closest allies are governed by 'socialist' governments and that the Democratic party in this country aligns remarkably close to the goals of Sociliast International. The second anyone suggests the Democrats are socialists, they strike back in fury. Sorry to burst your bubble, but they're socialists. What else do you think Obama's tax plan is trying to do if not tax the rich to bring them down to the level of the middle class? The Democrats wants to bring back inhertiance taxes with full force, meaning that most of the money you work hard for your whole life doesn't go to your children, but to your government (how patriotic right?). This is socialist style down to the fine print.

Just look close and you'll realize this country has more socialists than any other in the world (proud to call myself not one of them), and 90+ percent of them are too ignorant to know that is what they truly support.

In any case (my plug for democracy). Go out and vote on November 4th, if for nothing else than to show how different our socialism is from communism.

First.. Comes First

In my recent readings, many supposed 'experts' in the field of economics are claiming that increasing economic collaboration and interconnection are one of the primary culprits dragging down the world economy.

If globalization is the culprit... then look around you, and see some of the strange ways that we are all.. connected.

You may ask where in the hell am I getting this? It is a pertinent topic, but a fairly random one.

It was a discovery on globalization I made today, that quite honestly shocked me. And this all begins with a couple bus rides in Glasgow Scotland. For those of you that have been to Glasgow, (which as far as I know is just Madeleine and I) may know that the 747 bus line goes from Glasgow International Airport to Buchanan Station via Central Station (my destination the day I rode). This particular bus route is owned and operated by First Group; a Scottish owned transport line headquartered in Aberdeen.

Quick Facts:
-First Group is the largest bus operator in the United Kingdom, running one of every five local routes
- First Glasgow is the largest bus operator in Glasgow, running over 118 services with over a thousand buses and 2800 operators

OK you might say, cool you rode a bus in Scotland, and First Group is a pretty big deal. What you may not know is that if you are an NC State student, really an American in general, you probably have ridden a First Group Bus as well. First Group's American arm, First Group Transit (yes, the same First Group from Scotland), owns the operation contract for the NC State Wolfline. They also operate another 235 American Bus lines including tons of this nation's University bus systems. Lest I forget, they also own GREY HOUND!

Another of personal interest is Alexandria's DASH buses, who knew.

And I think that last statement is the point. We don't even realize this increasing interconnectedness exists. Except for one of the Wolfline operators wearing a 'First Transit' visor, I would have never researched and found that a Scottish company owns the contract to the buses I ride on every day, nor would I have known that the Alexandria DASH buses are owned by the same company. In fact, I would be willing to make a bet that the operators of the Wolfline are unaware that their pay checks are really coming from Scotland.

In this world of globalization, even the most obscure things (BUSES.. seriously) can be conected.

Another random incident from teh life of Russell Witham. Today while I was walkintg through the brickyard (amongst all the other random things in the brickyard recently), a girl approached me to ask me if I had voted yet. Upon informing her that I had not, she reminded me that in NC I can vote early and asked me if I would like any information about Barack Obama.

I know what you are thinking, why is this strange, its two weeks to the elections adn volunteers are everywhere.. and in numbers.

The reason why this was odd is the girl in question had a very strong British accent, I want to say it sounded like a Yorkshire accent, but I won't be held to that. With that assumption that this girl was a foreign national (I realized this when I was at dinner about 15 minute later), she would not have American voter priviliges. Then how strange it is that she would be volunteering for a candidate in an American election. It would be like an American volunterring for the Conservatives or Labour in a British election, it just doesn't make sense. I wish I had gotten the chance to go back and ask this girl why she was volunteering (I would have, but she was gone when I passed the spot again). Is the American presidancy really such a beacon of power in the world that this girl felt inspired to get Barack Obama into the White House? This would be remarkable to me, but maybe.. it is just another sign of the times.

Purge

I should be typing away on a Lab Report right now. But while I was staring at my inbox on NC State's student webmail, I noticed that I was given a 'purge' option. This kick started my idling brain into a full fledged swarm of thoughts onto who choose the word purge and what they were thinking at the time. To me purge has such a strange connotation. Is it supposed to be freeing to empty my 'trash', like an enormous weight off my back. Its not that I have an emotional connection to the items I am purging, the vast majority of emails that go to my trash are junk (quite literally trash). But the idea of purging them makes it seem like some sort of washing of the hands. Its so dramatic. PURGE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO PURGE? To me the term empty is far more refined, I like the idea of walking my unwanted emails to the internet's dumpster and politely sending them off to the landfill of the internet. To me this in stark contrast to the idea of purging.

But then again, maybe this has something to do with the nature of most NC State students. Could it be that such a conservative student body has found a way to weasel religion into everything. As if somehow purging emails is some sort of spiritual reminder to cleanse your own soul. This would seem to be reaching on my part (yes, you are reaching). But seriously, who decided on the use of the word purge.

I know this seems like a fairly trivial item when we are surrounded by bank collapses, wars on terrorism, rising inflation and decreasing home values. But in the end (and this is a theory I'll steal from Vibrations), every single event, every harmony, isn't one single sinusoid but rather is composed of many seperate sinusoids. Applying this theory to life; then isn't every issue, every problem, just a summation of all the little problems. I don't mean to trivialize the trying times we live in. But I would argue that this current economic crisis isn't a problem of the burecrats in Washington. This is a problem caused by the summation of the mistakes of every day Joes. Overextension of credit is not the banks fault, yes their greed was the catalyst. But in reality, this was all caused because everyday people bit off way more than they can chew.

Most in the circles that have read a lot on the crisis probably see as I see that this problem wasn't caused by Freddie Mae, Fannie Mac and George Bush. This shit hole we are in was caused by Bill Clinton and Henry Cisneros (see the front cover of the NY Times on October 20th). The last administration told lending agencies to make home ownership available to more people. They asked lenders to loan out these sub prime loans and then gave Freddie Mae and Freddie Mac (FDR's brain children) mandates to insure these horrible loans or face increasing competition and constriction. At the time, they looked like heros. 70 percent of Americans had homes of their own, in historic terms this was absolutely ridiculous. A few people saw this coming, but amongst such money making as was seen in the last 90s till around 2001, who was really going to change the system. Now we see the problem, all people are not created equal. Not everyone in this country can be a home owner. You can't have a low income job, no education and expect a home. Thats not an American promise, its an American illusion.

Now we as a collective will have to pay for those mistakes. And yes this has nothing to do with the wording of the trash can on an email server. But I guess the point I'm making, is that its in the little things. Those little actions which seem not to matter, really do have more of an impact than you'd think.

The Sentiment of the Day

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
With or without you

People like to rag on Bono, but the man sure can write some magical lyrics. And its true, I can't live with or without you (that was just me trying to be a poet... effort = fail (lol)). Maybe the world would be just a little bet better though if we all gave a little more, learned to laugh a little more and accepted that thing aren't always going to be perfect. And you can have a horrible stretch where nothing seems to go right. But at the end... laugh about it.. the sun is still going to shine, the birds will stll chirp, the world will still move and sway with you. Just give a little bit.

Just one of those days

Today.. was just one of those days. If there was something that could go wrong, it did. And in one day I lost the feel that I am fit to be an engineer.

When I started this blog. I decided I wasn't going to use as a self pity festival. But today was such a comedy of farces, I just can't help but share the events.

So upon waking this morning.. late. I hopped into the shower and swiftly washed off so that I would have time for breakfast before my bus. Despite the late start, I beat my bus to the curb and was ready to head off to my least favorite class, Fluid Mechanics. The bus pulled to the curb, and what do you know but the bus was full. Quite literally full, as in they would take no more passengers (I know, farce number 1). Twelve minutes later (the frequency of the lovely Greek Village line), the bus pulled up and the group of us standing there hopped onboard. Of course with my luck today, the bus was delayed on its route and got to DH Hill Library a couple of minutes late. This meant that it was now 10 minutes after my class had started. With the prospect of walking in 15 minutes late to a class I hate, I decided to stay on the bus and go back home and work on my MAE 305 lab report. I thought this was a pretty good decision as I was able to finish the lab report and even take a little break before my long line of afternoon classes. But of coursre, in line with the theme of the day something had to go wrong.

Of course.. it did.. 10 minutes before I had to walk out the door, I got an email informing me that my lab report was wrong in several spots. By this point I had no time to fix because I had to go back to campus. When I got back to campus and went to Vibrations. The day took a turn for the even worse, as I got back my first test in what I thought was my best class. Turns out it wasn't my best class as I got a 23 out of 100, despite the fact that I had previously gotten 100 on all of the quizes and homeworks. To make it worse, Professor Tran told us all that if we got less than 50 or so we should probably drop the course.

So now at this point in my day, with things going quickly downhill and me now realizing that I would have to retake Vibrations. I didn't really things could get much worse, and for my History class and Thermo, they didn't. Those classes were shockingly normal compared to the rest of the day. But as soon as Thermo ended, the karma gods struck again.

I ran to the computer lab to finish my lab report before 305 Lab. To my dismay, I actually finished it and clicked print on the computer. And jsut for the hell of it, neither of the two Broughton Hall public printers would print my report.

And to cap the day off after my lab ended (the one where I didn't have my report), I just missed the bus I needed and had to sit at the bus stop for thirty minutes to get my bus.

And thus concludes the fabulous day of Russell Witham...

Simplicity of a Sort

Everyone has those times.. you know.. one of those times where massive amounts of work need to get done, but none actually is getting done. Hence it is further delayed. One of those times; when Facebook and music (in my case the 'Illinoise' album by Sufjan Stevens) take over, and the work which seemed so pressing just a few hours ago disappears into some dark recess of your mind.

If you know what I'm talking about (who am I kidding, I'm writing to myself) then we probably share something in common. You are probably between the ages of 18 and 24 (check!), are a university student (check!), preferably in some really bewildering subject like engineering or one of the physical sciences (check!), and consider procrastination your best sport (check, check!).

Maybe it is just something about the nature of engineering. But I think I have yet to find an engineering student who sits down to work or to study and goes, "damn, I love this stuff." I know Literature majors who love their reading assignments, history majors who can't hear enough of their lectures, poly sci students who just can't wait to debate politics. But this blatant passion, just doesn't exist with engineers. If we ruled the world (thank God we don't), it would consist of cubes and rectangles. And not in the kind of cool cubist style of art. I am quite literally talking about cubes. Why you may ask? Because they are easy to construct, support and distribute weight well and are lovingly easy to model.

I'm not sure if I'm attempting to make an argument for not being an engineer. I'm merely stating the commonly held fact that our work sucks but pays well, because.. well.. somebody has to do it. I mean seriously, can you think of a job that offers more security and better pay? I didn't think so (mostly because I was the one doing the thinking).

Have I actually discussed anything in this post so far? (Hmmm.. nope)

Have I addressed anything concerning simplicity? (ahhhh.. I think not)

I'll make the assumption therefore that simplicity is pure.
Since simplicity = pure.
And since the song 'Decatur' by Sufjan Stevens is purely amazing. Then through my not so simple or logical mathematical formula, we can contrive that Sufjan Stevens = simplicity.
And since something that is pure would generally have a positive connotation, we (I really) can assume that Sufjan Stevens is enjoyable (positive) and can rationalize my choice in listening.

Now I'm actually starting to get frustrated. I attempted to define simplicity and wound with something complicated. Maybe I should just go back to fundamentals, more specifically in the form of the Random House College Dictionary.

(Ruffling of pages.. and then on page 1226)

Simplicity (noun, pl) - freedom from complexity or the possibility of confusing

(At least that was my favorite of the five definitions)

That would tell me that very few things fall into the category of 'simplicity'. Certainly not women, nor sex, not alcohol, nor the newpaper, Sodokus, Crossword puzzles, paintings, songs (sorry Sufjan, you're too complex). Nothing in this surreal world is simple. Maybe that indeed is the great truth of life.

Actually, maybe I can think of one thing that is simple. And if you are a frequent reader of this collection of writings (feeling kind of good about myself now), then you'll remember in my last post I mentioned my 'calm place'. My calm place has an unreal amount of simplicity. In this place, (and yes I know because I've been) there is zero complexity or possibility of confusion. It is pure, it is enjoyable. It is all the things I've attempted to use to define simplicity without actually being any one of them.

I'm not trying to strike some universal cord. I'm not trying to find the critical damping of life. I simply want simplicity. L O V E..

That is it.. Hit me like an arrow. Love is simplicity. In its purest least confusing form, LOVE I think is the only thing that is truly simple.

Don't just love the one you're with. Don't think you're in love. Don't think at all. Just seek simplicity and you'll find love. Whether or not thats true is debatable (maybe I'll pick up there sometime again). But my clock reads 1 AM and I think I have at least two hours of work to do before my 7:20 alarm clock. Tchuss.

Writing

Through my experience I've found that there is almost always a "proper way" to do everything. A paper should always start with a thesis and end with a conclusion. Even something as benign as cooking has its own progression; recipe, preparation, cooking, plating. Even blogs I'm sure have a way they should start. My query is then.. What happens when you do know what it is you are trying to accomplish? I'm not sure I have a beginning or an ending.

In my childhood, I despised writing. It was so individual and non formulaic, I could see little to no reason to work to improve it. Now, as I sit here, depleted and empty, I find that my fingers strolling the keyboard searching for thoughts is relaxing. I don't have to defend myself to anyone, don't have to prove myself to a soul except myself. I don't have to worry about the fact that I have no idea to what ends I am attempting to write. Is it reprieve I seek? (Me thinking to myself) I doubt it. Generally when I feel down I resign myself to sulking internally, while displaying bitterness and a casually flippant attitude to my surroundings. Today though is slightly different, things have not been going my way, yet I'm not really sunk very deep. I just sit here listening to music.... and writing. Whatever it is writing means.

Perhaps writing isn't even the proper title for this entry. Writing tends to carry with it this connotation that I am trying to accomplish something. That isn't really the case. I'm not making lists, I'm not talking about the pomegranate I ate yesterday, I'm not sharing the ideas of my current art project. My fingers are simply being carried away by music. Perhaps then, all of this language is nothing more than the workings of my subconscious mind. Hmmm? No, I don't like that idea either, it implies too much, as if there is something deeper going on. I don't feel as though I'm opening up some grand new mental pathways. I just wanted to write.. I saw the word blog written somewhere, and it occured to me. Why not blog? (Once again, that was rhetorical) I mean, everybody does it, to no apparent end. These quips will just wind up on some server out in cyberspace, where most likely my eyes, and mine alone will be the only reader.

I could branch off into some sermon about the impersonal nature of the internet, or the oddity of writing to myself for no reason. But I won't.. For no other reason than I don't like to patronize. And I didn't start this thing, whatever this thing is, for some politcal or social cause. I just felt like typing. And type away I shall. Maybe I might just type until I don't feel like typing anymore, which at this point may be never. I just feel like talking.. about nothing.

So much of my days seem to be spent talking about things of substance: politics, global warming (or lack there of), the economy (sad at best), music, religion, the news, daily happenings (or the absence of them). When do people ever just take the time to talk about nothing? I don't mean in the sorority girl sense (no offense to all the sorority girls who won't be reading this). When do people just let their minds roam, float through their heads like a sea gull riding the wind at the beach. Allowing their mind to feel the ebb and flow of the surroundings. The green plant sitting in front of me, the Netflix DVD at my side, the buring candle from IKEA. To a random individual these surroundings might suggest random Capitalism, but to me, they are the comforts of my familiarity.

I wouldn't say any one of these items carries any significant importance, I don't have any memories with them, and will probably not recall thinking of them fondly, even a week from now. For now though, they offer some strange semblance of comfort and home. I can just fall back into the sound of the music and my armchair and forget that the world is hard. There are no get out of jail free cards; and second chances when you can find them are definitely not given but are earned.

Sometimes I think the world would be so much happier if everyone would just take the time to find their inner peace. (Now I'm thinking... wondering if such a place exists, even for me who proposes it) I think I do have a place like that, but to describe it would cause me to lose it as my own, so for today at least I think I'll keep that one a secret. Even from myself, the sole reader of this piece of cyberspace. Not because I like keeping secrets from myself, but because this little echelon of comfort is one that I'm not sure I may ever get to again (even though I hope that isn't the case), it may as well be the farthest corner of Tibet for now.

Death Cab For Cutie is playing write now (for posterity's sake). Its their newest hit, "I Will Possess Your Heart". And though it is overplayed on commericals and the like, it has a nice rhythm and is prodding my brain forward through this mental entaglment of starting with no starting point, and ending with no ending point.

I'm starting (comical.) to wonder if even I'll want to read this later. (Probably not..) Because, and this goes back to the beginning, I'm not writing to a particular end. I'm really just venting without having the desire to vent. (What a strange concept..)

I just took a break to check my gmail, not that I thought I would have something in my inbox, but because I find it comforting to check somewhere in the vicinity of 50 times a day, just for the heck of it. I guess you would say it is my own little guilty OCD pleasure.

This entry into my "blog" seems as though it is starting to get a little on the lengthy side. So maybe, for today, I will actually cut myself off with the thought that I truly have more to say about nothing. In the same way that Jerry Seinfeld had mulitple emmy winning seasons of a show that was truly about nothing. Probably about as much nothing as this has been. Becasue in the end, even talking about nothing, is still talking about something. Because as Seinfeld showed us, even in the nothingness there is humor. In the silence, there is laughter. And in the most mundane of cafes, there are soup nazis.

For today. So long.. And maybe I won't write about nothing everyday. But certainly I will return here frequently to share my thoughts or my absence of thoughts with this little piece of cyberspace reality.