The Audacity of Domestic Violence

Today I saw something that angered and saddened me more than anything I've witnessed in a long time. The biggest personally for me was that although I was standing there, I was silent. Unable to utter a single word.

Standing at the Wolfline bus stop waiting for the Route 9 Greek Village bus, a shouting couple approached (I'll refrain from giving specifics about them, it is irrelevant). I could not determine the source of the dispute, but in any case the man was vehemently lambasting his partner. Calling her a bit**, c**t, *hor* and several other words which I'll refrain from mentioning. Eventually, he began pushing her, took her wallet out of her hand in threw it in the street (Hillsborough during the middle of the day mind you). I think you can imagine this woman's embarassment in having to walk out into the street when the light was red to retrieve her wallet. Understandably angry, she proceeded to throw the wallet back at the man amongst various curses. Then in a fit of absolute rage, the man slapped what I presume to be his wife (possibly girlfriend). She recoiled and stepped away ending the argument.

All this beign said, I'm disturbed that I felt uncomfortable to the point where I didn't step in and attempt to diffuse the situation. Did I feel slightly intimidated by the man's demeanor? Yes. But this was a fellow human being he was abusing (from what I saw, a person who probably experienced a lot of abuse). I feel like I should have at least said something. Instead, I was weak, I turned up my iPod and looked away until my bus arrived. Did this dispute have anything to do with me? No. But was it my duty to intervene? I think it was, and that is why I am thinking about this issue right now.

Maybe it is that I didn't react proactively because of some things I've experienced in my own life (that is as deep as I'll get with that one publicly). But more than anything I think I didn't respond because I convinced myself that these sort of things happen everyday. Its just one more 'minor' case of abuse. This is where the problem lies for me, and I think with a lot of people. One more person who experiences abuse is one to many. It is time we really start to educate people, we as a society have to take a moment to say.. no, that is enough. No longer will we turn a blind eye to abuse of any kind.

Yes, there are lots of people out there who do a lot fo good work against abuse. And yes the law does come down hard on abusers. But those alone are not enough, this is not an issue that requires a goverment mandate. This is something where we all just need to stand together and say no. Next time, I pray I will have the fortitude to stand and say.. no.