What music?

If you look up you'll notice the name of this blog..

Memories of the Music..

I'm sure this name made a lot of sense at the time, hence most of my life decisions. But as in many other cases, now I stare at it as a sort of challenge to my manhood. (Nervously) How am I going to write about music? I'm the sort of kid who didn't even start listening to music until my freshman year of High School. I'm being serious.. In eighth grade each student was asked to gave their favorite musical act. Many of course, being the impressionable teenagers we were, selected Britney, Cristina Aguilera, Shakira, boy bands.. the typical stuff. In a typical indicator for the social anomaly I would grow to become, I selected Bach. Don't get me wrong, I do like Bach, but it was a choice of desperation because I had nothing else.

I lucked out, my teacher knew nothing about classical music, she simply responded with "isn't that nice." Then came the dreaded follow up, what is your favoirte piece? I panicked, yet was able to hold my composure as I casually replied, "his 4th of course." She gave me a look as if to say, gosh you really are a weird kid, and passed on.

In later life I would realize that Bach did not have a fourth symphony. Mozart and Beethoven did, but neither was of great note. Tchaikovsky has a quite famous fourth symphony, but even that received poor critical acclaim. Check.. epic fail..

Somewhere along the way I did develop a taste for more modern music and that pallate continues to evolve.

It started with CSI Las Vegas. The show more than anything else led to the beginning of what has now become an obsession. The epic overtures of Townsend, Moon and Daultrey in Who Are You led to me buying my first compact disc, the Best of The Who. The way Townsend manipulated the guitar simply amazed me. Once the rock started rolling it was straight into the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Guess Who and so many other from that classic generation.

During my Senior Year of High School something else happened. A different stage in development began. I finally realized the beauty that is the opposite gender. What a wild ride that has been.. But along the way I was opened to new and different forms of music: alternative, dance, pop.. Some things I liked, others I didn't. But along the way, I grew to like many different forms of music.

The final revolution occured this last summer when I went to Bonnaroo. I did not go as crazy as most people there, but what I did do was engorge myself in music for four days. I came out filled with sound: Sigur Ros, Vampire Weekend, MGMT, Rogue Wave, Ladytron, The Swell Season, Adele, Steel Train.. When I got back, not only had I been indoctrinated in Alternative / Folk / Pop Rock. But I suddenly saw so much more.

I'd like to give a call out to a couple of groups which have really impressed me recently..
Noah and the Whale
Francois Virot
The Wombats
Glasvegas
Broken Social Scene

Also if you have a chance I would encourage you to go and visit "blogotheque.net", their "Take Away Shows" (English) have for the most part been fascinating in the fullest sense of the word. I can say enough about Vincent Moon and the other camera guys ability to capture pure moments of genuine music making. They truly give music a new voice.

Now I'm off to build a train track around the base of the Christmas Tree with my 5 year old brother. These are the sort of things you just don't want to miss.

The Family Man

.. is a 2000 movie starring Nick Cage and Tea Leoni. It is perhaps my favorite Nick Cage film and has a great lesson for us all during this stressful time (if you're going to begin exam prep as I am) or are just going to inevitably be caught up in the blatant commercialization of Christmas.

And while I do concede that this is very cliche, the message is one of my favorites (also one I miss a lot of the time).

Happiness, in its many forms (I know.. I've hashed on this a lot recently), does not come from wealth or from material possessions. True bliss comes in not forgetting the ones you love.

Furthermore, don't make choices with your brain, make them with your heart.

In the movie, Cage gets on a plane to London and as a result gets everything he thought he wanted. The big apartment, the Lambo, a ridiculous paycheck. He thinks all these things are making him happy. But in the tradition of George Bailey, he failed to realize what was truly important.

I too can't say I do so much better. How often do I let my future plans get tied down by financial considerations? I have to really look at myself in the mirror some mornings and ask myself am I doing engineering for myself or am I doing this because I know it pays. True.. you may say this isn't on a George Bailey level, and at my level nothing is set in stone yet.

But as we age in life, as 15 turns to 17 then 19, somehow 20. These cruel decisions of the 'real world' are coming, and with a vengeance. Already many people, even younger than I have chosen a life in service to our country, have dealt with unbearable loss or feel the crunch of the recession.

How do I know I haven't already made some bad choices? How am I supposed to know if I should have taken words back?

...

I don't..

And that reality is the reality we all must face. Its not the dreams we have for ourselves it is the decisions we make. Those are the things that define our existence.

I just hope that in my case it doesn't take a Clarence or Don Cheadle to make me realize I've made an imprudent choice.

Now.. sleep.. Those choices, they can wait till the morning..

The Pursuit of Happiness

Sometimes it takes the starkness of your overloaded life to make you realize what is important (I will warn you in advance, this entry is poised to be sappy).

When I woke up this morning I had a frown on my face, and could quite honestly not remember the last time I was truly content / happy. I say this because true happiness as I'm sure most of us can recognize is very unique and unlike the momentary blips of happiness which hopefully frequent our days.

Point being.. I hopped on my 12:35 flight to Washington Reagan and something happened. I was catapulted into the surreal world high above the Earth where things tend to come into perspective. My difficult decisions about my future don't need to stress me out today, my current lack of a love life isn't really that big of a deal, things could be worse (I have food on my table and a warm place to sleep). But most of all.. I have my family.

I arrived into the mayhem of an airport the day before Thanksgiving and scrambled my way up to the safe haven of the Metro platform. Minutes later Dad arrived, talking on his blackberry of course, but it was my Dad and I was so happy to see him. He put the blackberry down and we caught the next blue line to Franconia / Springfield, talking about recent happenings, and of course the Redskins, N.C. State Football and the Wizards. It was like being in heaven.

A microwaved lunch of leftovers later we were talking about my new job as a writer for Technician (No, 'Technician' does not have a preceding article).

Soon, my Grandparents came in from there lunch out and the parade began.. politics, life, the market, my relationships, Charlie Crist, the Nebraska National Guard.. Bliss...

Then Mom and Ryan came home.. COCKTAIL HOUR..

More like cocktail 'three' hour today, but whose counting.

I was just happy to be with most of the people I loved. For me, in these seemingly insignificant events, I was once again reacquainted with an old friend.. happiness..

I found a great truth in all of it.. And while cliche it holds true.. Nothing in this world can buy happiness, it is found in being with the ones you love.

For tonight I am tired though, and seeing as that I have an all American day of cooking, parade watching and football tomorrow, I should probably hit the hay.

If you're reading this little piece of cyberspace I call a blog today, I hope you have a marvelous Thanksgiving and that it feels you with as much goodwill as it is currently filling me with.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a goodnight..

P.S. M, you are not forgotten today, I wish you were here.

Pointless aspiration through desperation

There are times.. in which you lose track of the surroundings and become completely lost in your own self awareness. Today I have been in a dizzying fog of self doubt. I've felt a total lack of understanding. The sad part is that I cannot pin this rut on anything. I would think, if I didn't know any better (because unfortunately I do), that this is what general anxiety based depression feels like.

Now to my point... Hold on just a minute. I don't think I had one (It must be the fog).

This leads me to believe that I need to go home.. thrust myself in an environment where there are zero expectations and an unrestrained amount of love. Not that sort of sissy.. i <3 you.. The good kind, the sort you spend an entire lifetime trying to find.

One would hope that everyone would find that true love.. true contentment.. true joy..

To the contrary, I know better.. I know that it will find me.. At a time and a place, that some strange fate has chosen for me. Maybe I've already been there, maybe it won't be for twenty years. I would argue that is the beauty to the approach.

Yet at the same time, that same approach carries a burden with it. The burden that you must always be aware, and always looking. We may have love right in front of us and not even know it. And just because fate destined a moment for us, does not mean we will be aware enough to realize it in time, to seize it.

I'm not really sure if this post is heading anywhere tonight. Honestly, I hope its not. In all sincerity I really hope I am just spouting off after a quite bizarrely bad week. In which, what could go wrong did go wrong.

Yet in further proof that maybe there is something to be gained in persisting on.. the weekend has arrived and to my pleasant surprise, I have all my ligaments and seem to still be functioning on most levels. Of course with the added bonus that one of my favorite holidays is less than a week away.

Attribution versus Actuality

Tomorrow in the Technician. A story runs under my name. Russell Witham (Correspondent)..
From there on, the article is about 40 percent mine. I say this because, while the intellectual property is all mine, my editor chopped the story down and rearranged it into a totally unrecognizable mesh. I guess this is his job. But I also now understand why writers fight with their editors. I thought my story was nearly perfect, not a thing wrong with it. Apparently I didn't engage my audience quickly enough (am I engaging now.. huh.. huh..), nor did I have enough full quotes.... Stop using facts, use quotes... and lastly, I didn't talk enough about campus. Fair enough on the last point. But I know my audience, I know they are uneducated on this issue. That is why I volunteered to write the article in the first place. Instead what has been attributed to me is a combination of quotes, a blip about the actual issue and a segment about the rally.

I have to admit. This really pissed me off. If I wanted to just interview people and give their thoughts I would have. I sought to inform and tie it home. I guess I just didn't do it the 'Technician Way'.

Do I hope my article will inform some people on the issue? Yes. Was this the article I wanted? No. Will I try to make sure none of my intellectual property gets cut out next time? Yes.

Its not that I don't like Chris (the News editor). I think he is a cool guy. The problem is that I would rather not have my well thought out flow be chopped into news. I guess this is why I signed up to do editorials and not news stories. I like my writing to be... mine.

Today's Revision

This is probably a lot beefier than it will look on Thursday but this is what I am handing to my editor to chop up as he sees fit.

On October 1, 1948, in a 4 to 3 decision the California Supreme Court overturned California’s antimiscegenation laws in the case of Perez v. Sharp; determining in the case that “[marriage] is a fundamental right of free men.”

Sixty years, one month and three days later, the people of California decided that same-sex couples were not entitled to those “fundamental” rights.

The results of last Tuesday’s election were quite historic, witnessing the election of America’s first African American president. Yet, the social progress was by no means universal.

California Proposition 8, Arizona Proposition 102 and Florida Amendment 2 eliminated the possibility of same-sex marriages in those respective states. Each state’s ballot measure allowed the voters to formally state the definition of marriage

The California Proposition was listed on the ballots as “[an elimination of the] Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.” Similar wording was used on the Arizona and Florida measures.

The three states joined twenty five other states which have formally banned same-sex marriage in their state Constitutions. This is in addition to twenty other states which have statutory laws in place in accordance with 1996’s Defense of Marriage Act. A federal law which formally provides that no state must allow a relationship between persons of the same-sex as marriage, even if that relationship is considered a marriage in another state. The act further states that the Federal Government will not treat any same-sex marriage as legitimate under any circumstance.

Justine Hollingshead, the Director of N.C. State’s GLBT Center, called the results “a major setback [toward same-sex equality].” Echoing the dismay and disappointment of many throughout the GLBT community who were surprised by the substantial nature in which the measures were passed; especially in California, generally thought to be a socially progressive area.

Jeremy Hall, a Junior in Technology Education, said he was “surprised to see California regress.” Addressing the concerns of many who can not understand why many Americans are still so sensitive on this particular Civil Liberties issue.

“I’m not sure what people are threatened by,” Hollingshead said. Pointing out the inequity in denying hundreds of thousands of stable, loving couples the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts. Also noting that the Federal Government alone specifies over one thousand rights and privileges bestowed only on heterosexual couples.

In response to the national outcry, a rally in support of same-sex rights will be jointly held in all 50 states this Saturday Nov. 15, between 1:30 and 3 p.m. EST. The closest local rally, being coordinated by Will Elliot, will be meeting in Downtown Raleigh and has several notable guest speakers, including: Jim Neal, US Senate candidate in 2008, Jimmy Creech, who performed the first civil union in the state of NC, and Sophia Bush, a GLBT advocate and star of the CW’s One Tree Hill.

Elliot claims the goal is a “peaceful rally,” in order to “show solidarity with California and the rest of the Nation.” A location for the rally has not yet been finalized, but more information can be found on jointheimpact.com and can be obtained from Raleigh’s organizers by emailing NCAgainstH8@gmail.com.

Many N.C. State students are expected to attend. When asked about why participating was important, Amber Meachem, a Junior in History and GLBT ally said “its become a Civil Rights issue.” Adding that same-sex marriage discrimination is “a strike against everyone’s Civil Liberties.”

After Tuesday, the only two states that still allow same-sex marriage are Connecticut and Massachusetts. But as Hollingshead says, even those small victories still mean nothing until DOMA is overturned.

The debate still rages on all across the country, and even on what would seemingly be a dark day for GLBT advocates, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has words of hope “I learned that you should never ever give up. . . . They should never give up. They should be on it and on it until they get it done.”

The Real Losers of November 4th

(The following is the rough copy of my article on same-sex marriage propositions which will run in the Technician later this week.. Enjoy..)

Last Tuesday saw the election of America’s first African American President. But along with a great step forward on race relations, social progress was not universally embraced.

California Proposition 8, Arizona Proposition 102 and Florida Amendment 2 eliminated the possibility of same-sex marriages in those respective states. Each state’s ballot measure allowed the voters to formally define the definition of marriage.

The California Proposition was listed on the ballots as “[an elimination of the] Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.” Similar wording was used on the Arizona and Florida measures.

As of today, including the results from Nov. 4, twenty-eight states have banned gay marriage with amendments to their state’s Constitution.

Another twenty states have statutory laws in place which follow the federal Defense of Marriage Act of 1996. A law passed by over 80 percent of both houses of Congress and signed into law by President Clinton.

“DOMA” has two provisions involving same-sex marriage. The first provision provides that no state must allow a relationship between persons of the same-sex as a marriage, even if the relationship is considered a marriage in another state.

The second provision further states that the Federal Government will not treat any same-sex marriage as legitimate under any circumstance.

Across the nation billions of dollars were spent on the election. What may come as a surprise to many is that after the presidential election, the campaign with the second highest spending was not an election at all.

Proponents of California Proposition 8 garnered over 37.5 million dollars in the campaign for the measure; the opposition was able to spend almost 36 million dollars.

Despite a substantial public outcry from the LGBT communities in several states, most notably in California where protests and rallies have been held over the past week, all three measures passed with quite substantial majorities.

In Florida, where an amendment to the state Constitution requires 60 percent voter approval, the resolution was passed by 62.1 percent according to the Florida Department of Elections.

The residents of Arizona passed Proposition 102 by more than 56 percent and the residents of California raised Proposition 8 to California Constitutional status by over 400,000 votes.

Arkansas which already had a law banning gay marriage took other steps against same-sex couples. In a proposition approved by voters, only married couples may adopt or become foster parents.

Now, the only two states that still allow same-sex marriage are Connecticut and Massachusetts. Yet, under DOMA those marriages are only valid within those respective states.

As to the more than 18,000 California couples who were legally married prior to Nov. 4? According to California Attorney General Jerry Brown “marriages that have been entered into subsequent to the May 15 Supreme Court opinion will be recognized.”

In 1948 California Supreme Court found that miscegenation laws were illegal, claiming that “[marriage] is a fundamental right of free men.” Sixty years later 52 percent of California voters decided that it is not a fundamental right for all men.

Yet still, even California’s Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has words of hope “I learned that you should never ever give up. . . . They should never give up. They should be on it and on it until they get it done.”

Music of the Moment

Its not that I have not written due to a lack of a time. In an unusual change, I actually had the whole weekend off (this was a welcome change). And despite a lack of school work, I am starting up at the Technician this week. It seems I'll have an article on California Proposition 8 (the one that banned gay marriage in Cali) coming out on Thursday and an article on the reduction of campus travel budgets due to the economy coming out on Friday (both dates tentative). But anyhow, I figure I will share my 'music of the moment' with you kind internet dwellers who frequent this piece of cyber space I refer to as my blog.

Enjoy... : )

Noah and the Whale - Peaceful, the World Lays Me Down
Francois Virot - Yes or No
Glasvegas - Glasvegas
Musee Mechanique - Hold This Ghost
Rogue Wave - Asleep at Heaven's Gate
Adele - 19
Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
Sufjan Stevens - Michigan + Come On Feel The Illinoise
Music from 'ONCE' + 'Amelie'
The Postal Service - Give Up
Air - Moon Safari + Pocket Symphony + Talkie Walkie
FC Kahuna - Machine Says Yes

History

"....that people would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

Martin Luther King Jr. spoke powerful words during the civil rights movement. Words that we can all learn from and live by.

Today his dream came to fruition; and as much as I oppose Mr. Obama's policies, I can respect the watershed moment in history that today is. As a people, we have spoken and quite literally said that this election will not be judged by the color of a man's skin but by his merits. This was not an election of race but rather an election of issues. When all is said and done, the total number of votes cast will be much closer than the electoral college would suggest; clearly speaking to the great divide on issues and the path forward that the nation believes we should take. That being said, I do have HOPE. Hope that Mr. Obama can unite this nation under the banner of freedom and give us a responsible path forward.

I will have pride in my president, apart from race or creed, because he is the president of my nation. And though I will disagree with him often, I will support him.

If you are a fiscal conservative like I am, today is not the greatest day. But get over yourself and act like an American. I'm not saying you should celebrate (I know I'm not), but we can at least applaud Mr. Obama's achievment. And also take solace in the fact that the Republicans actually held their own in the Senate races, 44 to 56 isn't that bad..

Mr. President

Story:
The Bradley Effect? Nope.
Will black voters and young people really get out and vote? Yes.
Can Obama carry any southern states? Yes: FL, NC, VA (The Capital of the South).

Am I happy to see that racism in this country is no longer a prominent issue? Yes.
But at the same time am I happy with the result of this election? Certainly not.

I think Barack Obama is a very charismatic figure and his ability to invigorate the voter base is truly remarkable, yet I am also quite certain that he is the wrong choice for president of the United States. In these uncertain times, I don't think I would be comfortable with any candidate who only had four years of national experience (let it be known I didn't like the choice of gov. Palin). A uniting figure he may be, but is this man truly the one to fix our economic crisis, the horrors of medicare and the social security system, and the oversight of our wars abroad. Let me be the first to say that I hope he can. Prove me wrong Barack, be the hope America needs. But also know that I am putting you under the microscope with the massive control over Congress you've been given. When you falter, I will be there to point out your errors. Not because I dislike you personally, but because I dislike the sort of change you stand for.

Prove me wrong. And I truly pray that God Bless America.

A More Realistic View

Get out and vote!

Really though?

Yes, it is an unalienable right to go place your vote in the ballot box. But do we really want everyone to vote? 100 percent voter turnout would be a disaster.

I read on the issues, I follow the news media quite extensively, more so than 19 out of 20 people I know I'd say. But I do not consider myself totally aware of the issues. Of course we all have opinions on Barack Obama and John McCain, but what about Jennifer Weiss who was running for the NC Congress in my precinct (35, that is). Walking up to the polling location I knew nothing about either candidate. So you may ask, how did I make up my mind? By a pretty simple standard in my opinion. Jennifer Weiss was standing out in the rain outside the polling location asking for my vote. In a cold bitter Scottish style rain, she was standing there trying to earn my vote. I acquiesed to her request despite the fact she was a democrat, because I figure that she was willing to stand out in the rain for my vote, that told me more about her character than any political advertisment or flyer ever could.

Coming back to my point (yes, I was going to come back). If I had no idea who Jennifer Weiss was, then what are you basing your vote on? If you don't even know the issues, how can you vote? How can you vote for Barack Obama when you don't understand the effects of increased government spending? How can you vote for John McCain if you don't understand our militaristic role in the world? Its not that I would ever discourage someone from voting, I am simply dumfounded that these two campagins would spend over a billion dollars in advertising and not a penny on voter education. OK, I know some of you will argue that the advertisments are education. But I would highly disagree with that characterization and say that voter education is only legitimate when it is non partisan (look at the facts, where is that education.. everyone has an agenda). And furthermore, when the education explains the issues instead of some blanket false promise saying that I and I alone can fix this problem that you don't understand. I know this is politics, but it disturbs me; and I wonder of those voting today, who truly understands the consequences of their vote.

The Audacity of Domestic Violence

Today I saw something that angered and saddened me more than anything I've witnessed in a long time. The biggest personally for me was that although I was standing there, I was silent. Unable to utter a single word.

Standing at the Wolfline bus stop waiting for the Route 9 Greek Village bus, a shouting couple approached (I'll refrain from giving specifics about them, it is irrelevant). I could not determine the source of the dispute, but in any case the man was vehemently lambasting his partner. Calling her a bit**, c**t, *hor* and several other words which I'll refrain from mentioning. Eventually, he began pushing her, took her wallet out of her hand in threw it in the street (Hillsborough during the middle of the day mind you). I think you can imagine this woman's embarassment in having to walk out into the street when the light was red to retrieve her wallet. Understandably angry, she proceeded to throw the wallet back at the man amongst various curses. Then in a fit of absolute rage, the man slapped what I presume to be his wife (possibly girlfriend). She recoiled and stepped away ending the argument.

All this beign said, I'm disturbed that I felt uncomfortable to the point where I didn't step in and attempt to diffuse the situation. Did I feel slightly intimidated by the man's demeanor? Yes. But this was a fellow human being he was abusing (from what I saw, a person who probably experienced a lot of abuse). I feel like I should have at least said something. Instead, I was weak, I turned up my iPod and looked away until my bus arrived. Did this dispute have anything to do with me? No. But was it my duty to intervene? I think it was, and that is why I am thinking about this issue right now.

Maybe it is that I didn't react proactively because of some things I've experienced in my own life (that is as deep as I'll get with that one publicly). But more than anything I think I didn't respond because I convinced myself that these sort of things happen everyday. Its just one more 'minor' case of abuse. This is where the problem lies for me, and I think with a lot of people. One more person who experiences abuse is one to many. It is time we really start to educate people, we as a society have to take a moment to say.. no, that is enough. No longer will we turn a blind eye to abuse of any kind.

Yes, there are lots of people out there who do a lot fo good work against abuse. And yes the law does come down hard on abusers. But those alone are not enough, this is not an issue that requires a goverment mandate. This is something where we all just need to stand together and say no. Next time, I pray I will have the fortitude to stand and say.. no.

Its good to be a kid

Back in the days of Power Rangers (the real Power Rangers), when your gameboy color was the shit and 'homework' took about 15 minutes.... things were great. No responsibilities, obligations, difficult decisions. Life was simple. You didn't have to worry about relationships, your GPA, paying rent, bills.. Things just seemed to magically fall together (of course we all have examples of where this is false.. but generalize with me here).

Reality check. I am 20 years old and am as someone so poignantly pointed out this afternoon, am 3 semesters away from my next huge life decision. Grad school? Work? Its all so confusing.. and the worst part is that its one I have to make all on my own. These sorts of moments are when I realized that L I F E had arrived. The things I do have repercussions, I don't get do overs for the things I say, the acts of today form the events of tomorrow.

....

.... Still thinking about where I was going with this one...
I'm starting to think I may have just been complaining in general, which is odd considering this is basically the first weekend I've had off in God knows how long. But nonetheless, the idea of LSAT's and GMAT's and GRE's and EXAMS... is daunting.

Actually daunting may be the wrong word, because daunting kind of implies that while difficult there may be hope if the goal can be reached (yes, I was tempted to whip out the Random House on this one). Yet, in life is there ever truly reprieve? Do we ever truly persevere to some 'better state'? Some place where once again, the decisions become easy.. even logical maybe. I may not know the answer to those questions, but seeing as that I'm writing here tonight, I think I've determined my own thoughts on the matter.

Those being.. that I am going to give it my freaking all every day. Try and make the 'better choice', not because I know it to be better but because a choice has to be made. Some are easy (every day I choose to get out of bed), others are harder (love and its shortcomings for instance). But because I know of no better way, I'll try. I don't know if I'll succeed. But I'll give it my all until one day.. hopefully.. it will all be child's play again (Yes!! Game Boy Color!!).